Thursday, January 19, 2012

Exclusive Scoop -- Leaked Memorandum from Disney about PIPA

The following is quoted from a Memorandum distributed within the Walt Disney Company to its employees. The studio's Executive Attorney, Betty Van Poole wrote the following in support of the impending Protect IP Act currently floating in the US Senate.

In the coming weeks, our Government will usher in a glorious new era for not only our studio, but for all of Hollywood. For the Senate is going over the Protect Intellectual Propety Act (PIPA), and is likely to pass it. Much like its sister act, the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA), PIPA will persecute any single fool on the web that tries to use our property without our licensed permission. It will put an end to all those illegal copies circulating on the internet of our films and television shows, and secure better profits for Disney. 
The nightmare of our fans using the copyrighted images and names of our characters will come to an end. We will no longer worry about loving images commemorating the vast accomplishments of Walter Elias Disney, celebrating all the motion pictures his bold initiatives have brought about. This studio can breathe easier knowing that less people will be inclined to pay to watch our animated "Robin Hood", with all the unauthorized drawings triumphing his foxy heroism outlawed. 
What better way to turn a profit than to prevent creative minds from promoting our movies? To make it illegal to draw our characters and entice potential audiences from looking their stories up? 
I just saw a site today, posting video reviews all over. One such review looked at "DuckTales", and blatantly lifted scene after scene from it! He kept going on about what a good show it was, and told viewers about how well it holds up. All while using our images. Does he not realize that less people will watch "DuckTales" if he keeps posting clips from it? Why would they tune in if he's showing it on his website? Clearly, we will continue to lose money if people like him are allowed to satisfy audiences with a few meager slices and instruction to keep paying us for more.
And this same person's "Disneycember" videos are even worse. They are nothing but clips from our movies, used without our permission. He goes on about how brilliant "Fantasia" is, about what a seminal experience the film was. His review of "Dumbo" applauds so much about the movie, and he heaps praise on "Beauty and the Beast". But tell me, how can "Dumbo" or "Beauty and the Beast" sell if he's using clips from the movies to convince our customers to go out and buy the Blu-rays?!
So as you can clearly see, out beloved Walt Disney Company is suffering from a potentially fatal blow. But let us keep our heads held high, as these laws come to pass. Only then will the nightmare end, and we can go forward with "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 22". It will cost $50 for people to see it, and all the money will go towards Bob's new hot tub extension. Those will truly be glory days!

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